


The worst of humanity

by Aragorn_II_Elessar



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types
Genre: Awesome Wade Wilson, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Dissing, Dissing myself, Gen, Wade Wilson Knows this is Fanfiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:33:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27043546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aragorn_II_Elessar/pseuds/Aragorn_II_Elessar
Summary: Wade disses the worst human being to currently exist. Pure crack fic.
Kudos: 5





	The worst of humanity

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Deadpool or anything else you may recognize
> 
> Since there are people these days who can't tell humor from serious stuff, I'm gonna make this clear- this is supposed to be satire, and not to be taken seriously at all.
> 
> Deadpool: It is!
> 
> Me: No its not!
> 
> Deadpool: It is!
> 
> Me: No!
> 
> Deadpool: We'll see soon!

Wade Wilson walked up to the podium as all laughed and applauded for him. He then got into position.

"So how are you people?" Wade said as he moved around his hands in a funny motion like Aragorn the writer did whenever he was roasting people, and he continued speaking in Aragorn's style. "Today we're gonna talk about a man, who I consider the worst of humanity."

And then on the screen behind Wade appeared an image of Aragorn II Elessar, the fanfiction author, not the LOTR character. "Aragorn II Elessar, the writer on this site!"

Wade then pointed at the image and said. "This moron just hit 500 favorites and follows, but his fragile ego is even larger than that."

Shaking his head, Wade said. "He thinks just because someone criticizes him, the person is his mortal enemy. And then guess what happens to that person?"

Wade then took out his gun and shot in the air, making all gasp as he twirled it and put it back. "And I carry out the deed. No, like seriously? What's the big deal? KJ just accused him of being a racist because he happened to speak up against people who harassed others for not shipping WestAllen. Who cares about that? Next thing you know, Aragorn will lose it because someone said he is biased against Tony."

All laughed out loud as Wade said. "Of course those people were right to call him out for his treatment of Tony Stark in 'A Beautiful Journey.' Not like Tony mocked Harley when they first met, outed Clint's family to an open channel, which Clint deserved of course, and was plain stupid to support the Sokovia Accords, which are violation of basic human rights. No, no! Aragorn is full of bullshit, and got butthurt when people called him on it, so he sicced Bieber on them. Like shame on him, using a pre-pubescent teen to do his dirty work for him, and then discarding him when he is unneeded."

All laughed again with Wade before he quieted them all down. "Of course his worst offense is when he created a diss track for that Atharwa Sawant guy. I mean, Aragorn, what's the big deal? So what if he is hounding you for months on more than one site, trying to pick a fight everywhere? Be a man and take it all. And just because two words rhyme doesn't mean it's a song- " _For so many months you have known me, yet you think so low of me, so its time for you to face my ki."_ Like seriously, go learn some fucking music before trying to make it, you unoriginal hack!"

All were applauding Wade again as he said. "And he is accusing people of taking his stuff out of context. Like, who are you to decide context of your own work? You got no right! Once your work's public, it is open to be taken out of context, doesn't matter if you're declared homophobic or misogynist because your statements got taken out of context."

All laughed again as Wade said. "And seriously, he is only a lion on the Internet. He is really underweight in real life, even pre-serum Cap is healthier than him. Wind will blow him away."

Now the photo of Aragorn spoke- "Dude, I gained weight in the lockdown. Now I weigh just as much as any other person of my age."

"Oh okay, my bad there", Wade said. "But rest of its true. Can you believe this? This fucktard with such a fragile ego, who can't take any criticism without taking it personal! And he is intimidated by a strong, successful, smart black woman like Iris West, which is why he tears her down to appeal to his butthurt masculinity. Where is humanity headed now, with such horrible people existing? Only time will tell. If you see this guy, beat him to death."

All applauded again as Wade walked off the stage while the curtains closed.

**Author's Note:**

> And done. Again, if someone couldn't tell, most of this sarcasm and not to be taken seriously.
> 
> When I had hit 100 favorites and follows in August last year, I had done some self-promotion. Now that I have hit 500 favorites and follows, I decided I should top it, by dissing myself!
> 
> Hope everyone enjoyed and see you all next time with another update. Stay safe from the coronavirus ya all!


End file.
